a little bit of life reflecting a little bit of accepting...

you know how sometimes you meet a person and things just feel right? sometimes life just sort of falls into place, and sometimes it's a little harder to accept things. certain people touch your life, and that's just a gosh darned fact.

moving somewhere new really makes you reflect on those things. i've met a lot of people here in

the sk corral, some who will mean more than others. one of my best friends is leaving. she's amazing. it makes me really sad to think of how things are going to be when she's on the other side of the world. i mean, who will take my facebook profile picture? who will listen to me when i have a neverending amount of bitching to do? who will make me feel better about my neuroses and be there when i need her to?

here's the funny part (although it isn't altogether funny.) we'd lived together before. i've known her for a really long time. i suppose things just sort of fall into place when you're stuck in another world, and korea really is a whole other world. it makes me wonder what things will be like when i go home. will our friendship stay as strong as it has been? i'm nervous, because things change when people leave. no longer will we be on the same playing field. she'll be back there, and i'll be here. i really want her to stay, because it makes me nervous to think that maybe i'm going to lose someone who means so much to me now! i've never been the best at keeping in touch, so for her to go is, well... hard. to say the least.

these past four months have truly been amazing. i feel like i've done more in four months than i did in my two years out of college. i have literally seen the world, and it's been with a massive amount of support from friends and family. you never really lose anyone, and i will forever remember these times with the amazing friends i've made. all i can say is, "don't leave" and "see you soon?"

also... "mew. love you!"

it feels like little bits of skyland, penetrating my skin...

It has been four months since I've come to Korea, and everything still feels surreal. Sometimes, when I remember where I am and what I'm doing, I find myself wanting to pinch my skin and wake up. How did I get here? What am I doing, halfway across the world? I thought that by coming, it'd help me realize something amazing about myself. I felt I had a purpose; leaving behind everything I knew. I always wanted to start over, and this was my in. But, is that my purpose? My higher calling? Did I come to Korea because I wanted to leave all of those familiar faces and places? If that's the case, then why do I miss all of it so much?

It's spring here, now. On one hand, it makes me miss home even more. On the other, it makes me love Korea more than I have in my short four months. I remember why, when I came to visit my friends in September, I fell in love with it. I see now that my purpose is not to have a purpose at all. That just being here and doing this is reason enough for me to have come. Yes, it's fucking my skin up to no end. Yes, my friends and family are a fifteen hour (at least) plane ride away. Yes, I am surrounded by people who don't know me and (for the most part) can't understand me when I speak. I'm also pretty sure that's what I've always wanted, to be a part of the masses. So, why reflect on the negatives? Why wallow away and feel sorry for all of the things I've missed at home? When I count all that I've done here, which isn't much, what I really see is all of the things I WOULDN'T be doing if I was still living at home. That makes me happy. And proud. And excited. In the end, if we don't have any of our experiences than what is the purpose in living in the first place?